Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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