I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
