I just made out with a guy for $7.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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