The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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