You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
