remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
