I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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