Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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