I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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