hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
