We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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