its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
