there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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