I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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