Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Are these your boobs on my camera?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
