Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I want you more than these girls want KFC
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
