it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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