all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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