uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
