Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
