U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
