Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
