I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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