These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
