Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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