Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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