I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
two words: eviction party
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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