I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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