We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
