So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I am one with the molecules
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
