how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
