what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
