I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
