I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
