no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
