Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i barfeds in our rink
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
