sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize