and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
