I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dick very happy bro
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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