On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
