Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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