It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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