i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
