considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
