u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
