i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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