Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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