I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
