batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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