The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
