its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
