i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
even my farts smell like vagina
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
