please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
