he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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