You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She bit a glass in half.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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