The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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