i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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