Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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