my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
