just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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