you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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