i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
