Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
