he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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