We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
