i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
